Never say this to a pregnant woman and be careful because this is where we come from ,
We’ve all heard them, said them, or overheard them. Open mouth, insert foot. Here is my top ten list of things you should not say to a pregnant woman. I know from experience these things have been said to me.
10. “Were you trying to get pregnant again???” Ah, what a nice response when you announce your pregnancy. If you hear this, let it roll off of your back. People have all sorts of opinions on how many children to have, and how close to have them together. Smile, nod, and back away slowly.
9. “So are you feeling sick? You know, a friend of mine was sick her entire pregnancy.” Just for the record, this tends to scare pregnant women, especially first timers who are still in the first trimester – so try to keep this bit of info to yourself if you’re tempted to share this with a pregnant woman. And if you happen to hear this when you’re pregnant, don’t let it worry you one bit. Everyone knows someone who has suffered through morning sickness their entire pregnancy, but this does not happen very often at all.
8. “So, are you going to find out the sex, or do you want to be surprised?” Now, asking if someone is going to find out if they’re having a boy or a girl is a perfectly reasonable, polite question. The thing that isn’t so polite is the way some people say this, which sets it up to sound like it’s better to “just say no” during the ultrasound, and wait till the baby is born to find out. There are folks out there that think finding out gender somehow ruins the surprise, and they don’t hide their disapproval of your decision to take a peek during the sonogram. But you know what? It’s a surprise either way, whether you find out at the ultrasound or on delivery day.
7. “You know, you won’t take any pictures of the second baby the way you did of your first.” I don’t know why everyone feels the need to say this when you’re pregnant with your second, but don’t listen to it. Just because you will be busier with two children does not mean you’ll forget how to use a camera. Look at it this way – if you were good at keeping up with pictures of your first baby, you’ll be even more experienced at taking good pictures of your second baby.
6. “Did you know that gaining too much weight during your pregnancy increases you chances of being obese for the rest of your life?” Seriously, do not show your pregnant friend an article about how gaining too much weight during pregnancy will set her up to be obese for the rest of her life. And if someone does something crazy like that to you, just ignore them. People blurt out all sorts of things – so once again, let it roll off of your back.
5. “So let me ask you a question. Is morning sickness real, or do pregnant women make it up to get attention?” There are no words for this one. No words.
4. “Are you disappointed? Were you hoping for a boy?” It surprised me how much people assumed I would be bummed at having two girls. I know that the Hallmark cards picture one boy and one girl, but two of the same gender is nothing to be disappointed about. And guess what? You’re allowed to have more than two kids. I like to remind people of that when they act like I’m missing out. (Also, I’m not missing out at all. Having two girls is awesome.)
3. “Well, you’ve gained more weight than you should have.” A doctor said this to me, but this was during the pregnancy when I only gained 27lbs! He was also about 112 years old, and still acted like we lived back in the day when pregnant women were supposed to gain about fifteen pounds max. They were able to do this by smoking their entire pregnancy, of course. So don’t worry about your weight gain, because the main goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. The weight will come off (you may have to skip ice cream for a while…) so don’t sweat it.
2. “Oh, you must be due soon. I can tell because your ankles are really swollen.” No matter how uncomfortable a pregnant woman looks, you should still smile at her and tell her she doesn’t look pregnant from behind, that she’s beautiful, etc. She may know you’re lying, but she’ll appreciate the thought.
1. “A friend of mine had such a hard time delivering her baby that the nurse had to jump on top of her stomach to force the baby out.” This is probably one of the worst things you can say to a pregnant woman, because it tends to scare the crap out of her. I had a couple of different women share various horror stories (that was one of them), when I was pregnant. You should worry about these stories about as much as you should worry about that campfire story with the guy and the hook. Everyone knows someone who had something crazy go wrong, but that’s no reason to get spun up and worry about your own delivery. You’ll do just fine.
If you happen to be pregnant, keep these things in mind and remember that people really do say some dumb things. Take the compliments to heart, and ignore the rest. Even if you don’t feel cute, I assure you that you are (of course I happen to love pregnant women, and think they’re adorable). If someone causes you to worry about morning sickness or labor, ignore it. Your pregnancy is just that – your pregnancy. It’s not going to be like anyone else’s.
So sit back, have some ice cream, and enjoy your pregnancy.